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Widow's Weeds: Lessons Learned From The Death Of A Partner, by Lisa Courtney
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Widow's Weeds: Lessons Learned from the Death of a Partner is a series of stories that paint a picture of one woman's experience of dealing with the illness and death of the man she loved. Lisa's off-beat sense of humor coupled with her admitted sense of fear and frustration make the journey the reader takes with her entertaining at times, sad and poignant at others. There are moments of laugh-out-loud humor mixed with somber tales of fear, exhaustion and loneliness-a more than fair reckoning in a long-term and often grueling process that, like the rest of human life, has no failsafe user's manual for managing the experiences inherent in loss and grief. Here's the hook: each story Lisa tells speaks to an issue related to the losing of or the loss of a partner. The initial importance of each issue will vary, according to the reader's own experience, level of awareness, and place in his or her private encounter with loss and grief. There is a comfortable familiarity the reader eases into before the end of the second story; Lisa's almost wistful but definitely conspiratorial "But that's not what I meant to tell you. What I meant to tell you was..." draws the reader in. There's a sense that Lisa will understand what the reader is dealing with; she makes it clear that, especially in dangerous, uncharted waters, there is safety in numbers. Lisa doesn't pretend she has all the answers; in fact, she complains that she hasn't even defined all of the questions. She shares her stories in the hope that she can shed a little light to make the night seem a little less dark; she's spent time groping for matches, too, and knows how it feels. Lisa's stories are sometimes sore to the touch; she takes the reader into the examining room the day her husband Tony's cancer is diagnosed, into the waiting room during his multiple surgeries, into the mortuary after he's gone. She quietly confides her anxiety over the ways she's changed since Tony's death. Her stories are also ironic and funny; there is verbal fencing as Tony and Lisa debate what his last words might be, how they (well, how she) should spend his life insurance money, and just how far Lisa will go to try and save the day during their very last fight. There are hundreds of books about death, the dying process, the grieving process, and the struggle to move through the world without a beloved partner. This one is unique in its unabashed, wholly unapologetic, irreverent candor, filtered through the awareness and personality of an unwilling participant who even now can think of ten things she'd rather have been doing instead. Its approach is moody and funny, pain-streaked and pensive, and most readers looking for someone to keep them company during the harsh nights of hopeful survivorship will be glad they found Widow's Weeds: Lessons Learned from the Death of a Partner.
- Sales Rank: #1761279 in Books
- Published on: 2015-04-27
- Original language: English
- Dimensions: 9.00" h x .38" w x 6.00" l,
- Binding: Paperback
- 166 pages
About the Author
Born in the Main Line area outside of Philadelphia, Lisa has lived in Los Angeles and Seattle, where she worked at Microsoft for many years, mostly to support her writing habit. Lisa has written several screenplays, a novel, two books of poetry, a children's book, and a collection of short stories. She edited a book of short fiction for Evergreen Publishing, called Voices in the Trees. (There are plenty of copies left if you want one.) She also regularly writes a blog, A Splash of Courtney Ink, which is followed by a faithful if slightly twisted audience. These days, Lisa lives in the Seattle area with four cats and one man. You can find her online at www.courtneyink.com. The first book in her Year and a Day trilogy, The Court Singer, will release in early 2015
Most helpful customer reviews
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful.
Very helpful
By k t
I cried and I laughed with Lisa. Her story was so similar to mine that it made me feel less isolated. A wonderful book, both tragic and beautiful moments throughout.
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful.
Comfort with an uncomfortable topic
By PDXjane
Dying, it's what we all must do but it is rarely talked about, rarely given time to process all its implications with our fellow human. We have our own thoughts and fears and when left within ourselves it can be so big, painful and isolating. Lisa brings it out in small manageable pieces, laying bare her journey and in that process was able to give the reader a message of how to cope, how to `live' with it. It's written in such a way that you don't feel you can't face those dark truths, everyone can find themselves in these stories somewhere, along with the whole gamut of our human emotions!
This book is valuable not just for those that have someone who is dying, just passed, or in the process themselves, it's for all us humans. Begin to know peace with our inevitability, learn how to help and understand if you are in the presence of others in this very final process. Read it for yourself; pass it on as a gesture of understanding to any and all.
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful.
Must read for all people going through the death of a partner
By Nancy A. Ufkes
Lisa gives her husband the ultimate fan mail with this book. She also details her REAL emotions and challenges through the process. Nothing is left out. I read the book in a weekend because I couldn't put it down, and although it made me cry many times, it also gave me hope.
Losing a spouse to death as Lisa has cannot be easy. But the real test of bravery is in how she has dealt with it. She is succeeding, she is thriving. She has moved on as her husband would have wanted her to do. And this book is a testament to not only Lisa's love for her husband, but her respect for what he would have wanted her to do. He wanted her to move on.
I think every woman or man who is mourning the loss of a spouse should read this book. Then meet Lisa, who is just about the biggest jolt of joy on the planet. She never forgets her husband, she celebrates him. And this book is a big part of the celebration.
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